Bugs Cure Denial

I am a hopeless romantic. I love imagery and atmosphere. Like in my other post where I referenced the image of the Kool Aid house. I love coffee commercials where there is always a woman standing, looking out a window, hands wrapped around the mug, snuggling her cup of coffee, inhaling the steam. That is how I wish I could drink my coffee. Like I said, wish, I usually end up with a burned lip from the first sip, then a cold cup when I get back to it after I am done getting toothpaste out of hair, or wiping butts or getting the kids dressed. I guess if I really wanted to I could get up earlier and have my peaceful morning, but I like the idea of sleep better. In the winter I have a fire going almost all day. I love the coziness it adds to the room. Especially after school. Fire going, kids doing homework, me working on dinner, it just all seems right.

When we moved in to this house two years ago the first thing that made me want to buy this house was the back yard. The back yard had a tree right smack in the middle. A big tree. In my head I immediately started picturing the kids climbing that tree. The future tree house with secret club passwords. The leaves from it that would be raked up in the Fall and then jumped into with laughter. I really loved this tree.

Well last year my beloved tree got buds, bloomed, was beautiful full and green, leaves turned yellow, leaves fell off, and then the tree went into winter mode all in one month. I was like "excuse me Tree ( that's his name), what are you doing? Please fix your self, now". However when the Tree Doctor came out there was no hope. Tree did not go into winter mode Tree went to tree heaven. I was so SAD!!! I could not believe it. "What? Why? How? Are you sure there is nothing left to do? No experimental treatment or new drug therapy?" "You have to save him Doctor!!!" I was in denial. I just could not accept that my Tree was gone. Tree stood tall (but still dead) all Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring and again Summer.

Well, the bark is falling off Tree now and it looks a little sad. No one plays on Tree anymore. The other day my 15 year old son came shrieking into the house. I mean screaming like a girl! As he was mowing around Tree the biggest nastiest bug he said he has ever seen attacked him. He would not mow near Tree. He did not care if I grounded him or what ever. He would not mow around Tree. Well I went out to look for my self and "Holy ****" is what came out of my mouth. They were everywhere. I still do not know what they were. But Taylor was right. They were GROSS!!! In one second I can truly say my denial was over. A tree cutting party was scheduled immediately.

Tree is now gone. Just a stump is left to remind me off all the lost dreams. I have fully accepted the loss. I have moved on. However, I can also say that Tree is still in our lives. Tree is now a very good drink holder while we play Corn Hole!